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I'm Fine Mom, Thanks for Asking

I've been thinking a lot about nuclear war lately, but that seems far too dark for the moment. In some ways I want this blog to reflect how I'm feeling at 28 as a time capsule for myself to look back on years later. The issue is that I'm only really drawn to scribble something down when I'm feeling particularly morose. When I'm out having fun and living life I'm just too busy to come tell the internet all about it. Then whenever the other shoe drops and I start think about how long we've had nuclear weapons and isn't it crazy that they've only been used twice? How much longer can we keep that streak going, huh? Nuclear arms are over 70 years old and our policy is to tell other people, "please don't build them. pls."

Then all of a sudden I have to come and hammer out a depressing 1,000 words about nuclear winter. Well I ain't doing that today, chumps!

Lately I'm just really content. Not happy daily or satisfied with where I am, just content. I really like being 28. It's a good number. When Ann and I first moved up here it sucked. I mean it was fun picking out furniture and being poor and trying new restaurants, but it was also really lonely. We came up here to start a life and goddamn if we didn't pull it off six years later.

At 28, you can just let life come at you. By now I know who I am, strengths and weaknesses. I know when I let a friend down that it's not the end of the world. Maybe I'm walking on a knife's edge here, but I know that the world is a large and terrible place and that I'm a small speck in the grand scheme of humanity. Head too far down that road and it's all nihilism and depression. I've left behind the other end of the spectrum though. Smug self-confidence and flailing around for meaning is an early 20s game. Too far down that road and you're an insufferable pseudo-intellectual jackass. At 28 I feel like those things are in balance. Not daily, but in aggregate things are going really well.

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